Back to School

Tomorrow is the first day back to school and my last ever first day back since this will be me going into Year 13. It means this next year is a big one in terms of I need to do everything I can so then I can get into the university I want to.. which is still being decided from a current list of 10. For some reason though.. I'm not excited to go back. I know that might make me seem a little nerdy for being excited in the past to go back but I think everyone has felt that at one time or another in their school life.

At the end of the Summer holidays, people are excited to start a new year with the outlook of "a new year, a new start, a new Me", but I think everyone has come to realise, whether it be too late or not, no matter what we do, you can't start again. You might be able to start something from the beginning again but sadly, everything seems to never quite end how we'd like it to. I want to stop biting my nails, I crack after a few days, I want to lose weight, I crack and eat everything in the fridge.

This time though, I'm doing something totally out of my comfort zone... I'm going into something as Me. Not the "new Me" or a "fresh Me". Just Me. No set goal at the end of the year or any aims. Just to do my best and be Me for once around everyone, instead of just a few friends.

The other day on Instagram I saw this image or quote or motto, whatever you want to call it, and I realised that this is why everyone wants to start things over.. because we are afraid. We are afraid that being ourselves will make other people think badly of us or look down at us, or that things will go wrong. So what if they do? Most of the time the mistakes are the best memories and end up being better for us anyway.

This may seem like a lot of rambling but what I'm trying to say, as cheesy as  it may be.. don't start again and wish for a new beginning. Carry on and do what you want without trying to please everyone, just do it for you, no one else. You.